Overcoming Negative Thought
Processes in Jazz Performance.
One phenomenon that has always
interested me as a jazz musician and listener is how highly variable a musician’s
performance can be. I have always been very interested in discovering what
elements of performance beyond practicing and listening more can contribute to a
better performance and, conversely, what elements can prove detrimental. I have
found that my thought processes can have a lot more to do with how well I
perform than how prepared I am, how good my reed is, or what caliber of
musicians I’m playing with. Below are several points that have helped me to not
only perform better, but allowed me to take the steps of establishing a career
as a working jazz musician.
The first point is that jazz music does not exist on a scale from best to worst. Although not expressly stated very often, I think in most discussions of the merits of various jazz musicians, there is the assumption that one is the best, one is the worst and everyone else has a place on this linear scale of ability. The only point of the discussion is to determine which one of the musicians discussed is better or best. This type of thinking is more prevalent in jazz than other popular forms of music because of the difficulty of learning to play jazz and the notion that jazz has rules which “should” be followed and has a history which “must” be respected. Therefore it attracts personalties that believe in right and wrong, good and bad in music. If you doubt that jazz audiences hold this assumption of “good, better, best”, just log onto any jazz bulletin board on the Internet and notice how arguments are not made based on the way the listener feels or how he thinks after listening, but on who is better, as if there is a truth which could be proven; that if God Himself came before us He could settle once and for all if ‘Trane or Satchmo was the greatest jazz musician of all time. One thing I’m fairly sure of, is that God would tell us “it’s a matter of opinion” and let us go back to squabbling about it.
This can be extremely damaging when we, as musicians, try to figure out where we place on this scale. I know that I was operating for years trying to ascend this scale so that my music could be “worthy” of being listened to and recorded. Once I became conscious enough during performance to realize I was actually thinking about how I stacked up versus other musicians, I began to realize how pervasive this thought system was and how it was distracting me from concentrating on the things I needed to concentrate on to get my musical point across. Realizing that my music is just one human being's attempt to communicate with others has allowed me to get my music out there and make a decent living and leave it up to others to compare and rate my music and realize this has no bearing on what I do because it has no ultimate truth. “Better” and “worse” are always a matter of opinion.
The second point is: Always question your ability to assess yourself. This leads directly from the last point. We all assess our playing in order to improve. But for most musicians I think self-assessment quickly becomes self-abuse. It is especially destructive when it is going on during the performance. I have noticed myself having these type of thoughts while playing a solo:
“That sucked, why don’t you practice more; no! don’t play the “old school stuff” these guys are into the new thing; wait that sounds too much like Wayne, you don’t want to be a copy-cat, what is last change on the bridge? Aw, man you don’t belong up here with these cats”
Then I’ll listen back to a tape of the performance and I will realize that as a listener I like what I’m hearing except that I don’t follow anything through and the solo lacks shape of any kind. The solution is not to try to force yourself to stop thinking this way. That’s like asking someone not to think about a pink elephant. I have found that the best solution is to merely acknowledge that I’m doing it. (In the immortal words of Ronald Reagan “there you go again”.) Then the mind is allowed to naturally return to thinking about the melody and listening intently to the other musicians. Sometimes the impulse to denigrate my playing is so strong, that I literally have to tell myself “well this may suck, but I know that if I don’t follow it through, I will be very displeased with the result.”
The first point is that jazz music does not exist on a scale from best to worst. Although not expressly stated very often, I think in most discussions of the merits of various jazz musicians, there is the assumption that one is the best, one is the worst and everyone else has a place on this linear scale of ability. The only point of the discussion is to determine which one of the musicians discussed is better or best. This type of thinking is more prevalent in jazz than other popular forms of music because of the difficulty of learning to play jazz and the notion that jazz has rules which “should” be followed and has a history which “must” be respected. Therefore it attracts personalties that believe in right and wrong, good and bad in music. If you doubt that jazz audiences hold this assumption of “good, better, best”, just log onto any jazz bulletin board on the Internet and notice how arguments are not made based on the way the listener feels or how he thinks after listening, but on who is better, as if there is a truth which could be proven; that if God Himself came before us He could settle once and for all if ‘Trane or Satchmo was the greatest jazz musician of all time. One thing I’m fairly sure of, is that God would tell us “it’s a matter of opinion” and let us go back to squabbling about it.
This can be extremely damaging when we, as musicians, try to figure out where we place on this scale. I know that I was operating for years trying to ascend this scale so that my music could be “worthy” of being listened to and recorded. Once I became conscious enough during performance to realize I was actually thinking about how I stacked up versus other musicians, I began to realize how pervasive this thought system was and how it was distracting me from concentrating on the things I needed to concentrate on to get my musical point across. Realizing that my music is just one human being's attempt to communicate with others has allowed me to get my music out there and make a decent living and leave it up to others to compare and rate my music and realize this has no bearing on what I do because it has no ultimate truth. “Better” and “worse” are always a matter of opinion.
The second point is: Always question your ability to assess yourself. This leads directly from the last point. We all assess our playing in order to improve. But for most musicians I think self-assessment quickly becomes self-abuse. It is especially destructive when it is going on during the performance. I have noticed myself having these type of thoughts while playing a solo:
“That sucked, why don’t you practice more; no! don’t play the “old school stuff” these guys are into the new thing; wait that sounds too much like Wayne, you don’t want to be a copy-cat, what is last change on the bridge? Aw, man you don’t belong up here with these cats”
Then I’ll listen back to a tape of the performance and I will realize that as a listener I like what I’m hearing except that I don’t follow anything through and the solo lacks shape of any kind. The solution is not to try to force yourself to stop thinking this way. That’s like asking someone not to think about a pink elephant. I have found that the best solution is to merely acknowledge that I’m doing it. (In the immortal words of Ronald Reagan “there you go again”.) Then the mind is allowed to naturally return to thinking about the melody and listening intently to the other musicians. Sometimes the impulse to denigrate my playing is so strong, that I literally have to tell myself “well this may suck, but I know that if I don’t follow it through, I will be very displeased with the result.”